25 Things Donald Trump Can Take With Him When He Leaves the White House

Photo by René DeAnda on Unsplash

1. Leftover jars of Bronx Colors face makeup in the shade of Orange BHCo6 imported from Switzerland

2. Donald Jr., Eric, and Ivanka

3. Melanie, um, Melania

4. Jared Kushner

4. Mike Pence and “Mother”

5. Lingering toupee hairs

6. Extra toupees

7. Spray tan residue

8. Copy of Public Speaking at the Seventh Grade Level

9. Very Good and Very Fine Book of Adjectives and Superlatives

10. Unused copy of Civics for Dummies

11. Contact information for Diamond and Silk

12. Bib, rattle, and bottle for adults

13. Manual on How to Stand Back and Stand By for white militia groups

14. The Art of Bullying, Gaslighting, and Dog Whistling

15. How to Become President of the United States for Dummies

16. Leftover wrappers and hidden fries from McDonald’s

17. Leftover bottles of Eau de Merde

18. Tyranny 101

19. How to Evade Taxes for Pros

20. 100 Ways to Insult Women

21. How to Speak to My Blacks in 2020

22. Extra small pair of gloves

23. unused box of face masks

24. How to Completely Botch the Coronavirus and Shift Blame to Fake News

25. The Life, Times, and Whereabouts of Barack Obama