This Is Why I Categorically Do Not Believe In Settling

Rosalyn Morris
4 min readOct 22, 2022

I do not believe in settling. It might be a matter of semantics, but hear me out.

Photo by Eunice Lituañas on Unsplash

To settle or not to settle that is the question???

My answer — I categorically do not believe in settling.

Of course, settling means different things to different people. To some it means marrying a person who doesn’t make your heart go pitter patter, someone who you don’t feel that spark or oomph for, but you marry them anyway for all their other dazzling qualities like kindness, sensibility, and loyalty. You know that the spark would eventually fizzle anyway.

For others, it means settling down with the person you love even though they snore, or they’re messy, or they have bad breath sometimes. You accept that the perfect man or perfect woman doesn’t exist, and everyone has morning breath, goes to the toilet, and can get on your last nerve!

And for some people…settling means settling down with a person you don’t love, like, or even respect.

These three things are not settling —

Having realistic expectations. Or widening the parameter for who you are willing to give a chance. How do you know if you won’t take a chance???

I used to believe that many people missed out on a love story for the ages because of their unwillingness to grab coffee with someone outside of their “preferences.” Like, is the short man going to bury you under a rainbow if you meet him at Starbucks? Are you really going to let the one get away because you love high heels? Now, I’m not so sure. I honestly believe some people should honor their preferences. For instance, if you love BBWs (Big Beautiful Women), then you probably shouldn’t date a thin woman. You might try to force feed her. If you really believe all short men are evil, then you probably shouldn’t go on a date with one. If you are repulsed by fat people or fat body parts, then for the love of everything holy, do not date someone who is overweight… Also don’t marry anyone who you don’t like…it will only get worse, not better. Life is not a rom-com or a romance.

Do, however, have realistic expectations. If having realistic expectations is what you mean by settling, then say that. I do know women…