Why Do Men Marry Women They Don’t Love?

Rosalyn Morris
6 min readJun 28, 2022
Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

When I was younger, and more naive, I believed men and women married each other because they were madly in love and felt they couldn’t live without each other. I felt that if the marriage didn’t work, it was because they fell out of love — but the love was initially there.

Unfortunately, I also knew that men got to choose who they wanted to marry. Women didn’t have this choice. Sure, women got to choose who they wanted to date, always, but women didn’t drop to one knee and ask the man to marry them. Not even if she desperately wanted to marry the guy!

Timing was another thing. Who hasn’t heard that men marry when, and only when, the timing is right…for them. The poor woman who spent years with a man when he wasn’t ready to be married — well you didn’t want to be her. But, when the man was ready to be married, he would ask the next woman he fell madly in love with…and couldn’t imagine his life without.

Then, one day I remembered a song from my childhood and went searching for it on YouTube.

It’s called Anytime by R&B singer Brian McKnight. Here are some of the lyrics:

I can’t remember why we fell apart
From something that was so meant to be, yeah
Forever was the promise in our hearts
Now, more and more I wonder where you are

Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you

I was listening to the song. Jamming. Enjoying myself. Then…I went to the comments.

A bunch, and I mean a bunch of men decided to get together, or spontaneously did, and commiserate about the ones who got away. I mean these men were pitiful — wallowing in their misery. And I thought women were the emotional and sentimental ones…

Rosalyn Morris


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