Please Stop Thinking He’ll Miss You When You’re Gone

Rosalyn Morris
4 min readJul 29, 2021
Photo by Azmi Semih OKAY on Unsplash

It’s Wishful Thinking

How many times do women in a troubled relationship proclaim, or think to themselves, he’s going to miss me when, or if, I leave. It will be then that he appreciates me, realizes the great thing he had and how much he loves me, or that he’ll come running back with his tail between his legs. Sometimes the minute the relationship is over, women say to themselves, or our friends tell us, that he’s never going to find anyone else as good as you. It’s wishful thinking in a way, as you’ll possibly find yourself staying in the relationship waiting for the change to come.

It can keep you in limbo, hanging around literally or metaphorically.

For starters, this way of thinking can make you stay around too long, physically or emotionally. Physically, you’ll stay in the relationship if you have the mentality that he’ll miss you when you’re gone, as you’re still waiting for him to see your value and worth…some day. This means even if you have to hang around for years, or decades, waiting for that day to come. I’m not saying that it can’t happen, or that it doesn’t, but there’s the realistic possibility that it won’t. Anybody who doesn’t value you until you’re no longer around is not worthy of your time and more than likely has issues.

If you’re stuck emotionally, after the relationship is over, thinking that he misses you or wants you back can keep you from moving forward. When a relationship ends, it’s time to move forward and focus on the most important person in your life: you. It’s also time to look for new relationships if you so desire. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take your time, as you should, but don’t stay hung up on your ex.

It’s a waste of mental energy.

Breakups leave you with a lot to process and a whirlwind of emotions. You can spend ad infinitum wondering what went wrong and playing the blame and what-if games. Self-reflection isn’t bad, but obsessively questioning the relationship is. There are more valuable things you can do with your time and energy. For starters, you can start the work to become the best version of yourself, especially if your relationship involved mind-games, negatively affected…